You might be a ricer if......

[2quick4u]

I know some may take offense but this is some funny shit.

http://srtforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35790

[5point_Slow]

you take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your car.. small, tight and hard to get into." hahahahhahahaha :thumbup:

[bigfoot]

even though thats just plain out hating on people there are many that are true and that i agree with but all was funny

[I8ayellowcrayon]

-You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
More because the car was overheating than keeping it cool maybe :). I don't think I would have broken 16s either :lol:.

-You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot.
Guilty.

-You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses.
Umm, no... Being the RICER that I am, I tend to use the clear (white) bulbs with my clear corners :hammer:. I think he should take that one out...

-If it takes you 8000rpm to reach 30mph from a dead stop at WOT.
Since he was saying -if 'pushrods are a bad thing'... Not too many pushrod engines can get up to 8000 :P. Thats just the way 4 cylinders are built because of the lack of torque.

Kinda funny :).

[Mr. Merk]

-You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels.
guilty but i am rwd

-Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1".
done it, but they were rims from my 68 cyclone, so they were just big ass tires on deep dish rims

-You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
found out i was overheating b/c the front half my radiator was covered in some sort of dirt/film, so we cleaned it and installed an electric fan :thumbup: but now i'm getting a 2 core!!

-You install clear corner lights.
aw now come on, that isnt rice.....is it?

-You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses
ok that is and i did it in 10th grade.....i've been healed, praise the lord

-The automatic version of your car runs 2 seconds slower in the 1/4mile.

i actually know a guy who ran almost 1.5 sec faster than me in an auto supposedly, but now i've got more mods than he does, we'll see......

-If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP.
once again, 10th grade

-If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights.
but i didnt do it!

-The color of your interior upholstery hurts the cones and rods in other people's eyes.
i never asked for red interior........damn you ford!

-If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects create a plow effect.
i just took the valance off and sold it when winter came around

-You own a "TYPE-R" Hyundai or Mazda.
i've heard that there is a type-r tiburon, maybe jdm???

-You have neon INSIDE your car
damnit.........

-You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s.
i only get 16mpg, lol

-If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it
ok ok....so i put a K&N and a tip on mom's protege, is that a sin?

i was kinda depressed by all that until....

LMAO....and then there is the guy who posted it....
2001 Kia Sephia
Mods:
Custom CAI
2.25" Cat Back Exaust
Kia-fx Ground fx kit
Rage Racing 16" wheels
Intrax Lowering springs 1.6in Drop
50hp wet NOS kit (got to love the juice!)
Custom Short Shifter
Clear corners
Custom interior lighting

at least i dont drive a kia...

[Triepsyn]

-Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light... It came stock like that. I didn't do it. :thumbup:

You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot. Doesn't everyone do that. :huh:

If you think colored head lights work better
Blue headlights DO make a difference! :D

If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it :( There's nothing wrong with that...

You can relate to every line of the song "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by the Offspring :unsure:

[juggalo]

...that shyt aint funny at all :P :shiftingfun:

[jasonslyric00]

Some of it is actually NOT funny, in that it doesn't describe "ricer".
Examples :
You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot.
That doesn't mean shit...lowering your car doesn't make you ricer...shit, 9 time out of 10 sport suspension, whether on an import OR a domestic (V8s included ; haven't you seen that Z28 that's low???) will lower it some...enough to bottom out.
-You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels.
Not only is that backwards for a FWD car, but I'd rather smoke a pair of 60.00 Michelins than 150.00 Nittos any day of the week...plus, you can play with the pressure for traction if you have more air to play with and the 35 and 40 series tires don't give you that option.
-You install clear corner lights
That's usually for a JDM conversion...not to mention that it DOES make a car look smoother 9 times out of 10 and, yes, looks ARE SOMEWHAT important to some of us, at least those with some taste. But THAT is, by no means, "ricer".
-If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects create a plow effect.
Again, refer to the speedbump thing. I mean, how much snow are you talking?? It's not necessarily ground effects, either. With a big enough snow, I wouldn't do it because, if the ruts are deep enough, then the snow/ice collected between them would ride the hell out of my exhaust, from the bottom of the header all the way back.
You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s.
Not in performance, but sure as hell superior overall...Shit, the way I drive (and I'm sure I'm not alone), I'd be filling a V8 up EVERY OTHER day.
Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque
???? As long as you can pull off a great 1/4 time, what difference does it make ??!!
You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car
That's stupid...again, APPEARANCE IS WORTH SOMETHING TO SOME, and not just "ricers" either. I mean, you don't want a green car with green wheels (atleast, I hope not), but painting your wheels black or gunmetal, as long as you don't ghettorig it and you actually do it right...shit, try to lie to me and tell me any of you dumbestic jockos would buy a nasty ass looking V8 and not try to get it looking better...Besides, SOME of those color combinations look good (i.e. black on black and white on white...well, that's about it)
if you can fit fist **** your exhaust tip
:rolleyes: It's your thing...do whatcha wanna do.
If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque

Again : As long as you can pull off a great 1/4 time, what difference does it make ??!!
Your baseball cap is always on backwards when you drive (the first sign of mental retardation, wearing your clothes backwards... BE).
Better backwards then 80 degrees off your forehead = redneck
If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a ‘mildly’ modified engine
At the wheels?? Shit, with nothing but bolt-ons (I assume that's what is meant by "mildly modified")?? Even at the crank, 180 is what most Civics will push with just bolt ons...of course, they also weigh HALF AS MUCH as most "muscle (I use the term loosely) cars".
You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that everytime you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts
That's not a "ricer" thing, fuckhead. That's a totally different loser altogether.
If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading.
That's too general, I mean, SHIT, if you're talking about the crank, an RSX-S puts out 200hp stock...add the basic I/H/E bolt-ons, some ignition mods, and a performance fuel rail and I'll bet money it is over an estimated 250hp..again, this one is too broad to really worry about correcting.
Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for a REASON
Again, JDM and/or smooth...suck off, hater.
You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him.

I don't know about "claiming" but I've known quite a few cars, imports AND V8s, that couldn't do shit in a 1/4, but were hell out on I540... :P
Flying past the person who is 10 car lengths in front of you after they have put on their brakes.. and claim a victory.
I think I stated a while back that that is NOT a ricer thing, as I've had hillbilly fuckshits do it in their V6 Stangs and a LOT of the fullsized trucks that TRY to race me do it, too.
Tell everyone about how you lost the cop because of your "driving skills".

How exactly is THAT ricer...Every piece of shit Billy-Bob in a mustang that I ever met thought he was a shoewin for a spot on the D.E.I team. (it's a Nascar thing..."ricers" wouldn't understand, right??)
you are a white kid driving an import
I won't say anything about this one because he (i.e. the hateristic moron that made this list) added "wear baggy pants/hat turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha I'm sayin? Relate" to it. But I think you see where I was ABOUT to blow up...what, I'm white so I have to drive some old beater or a "sports (again, the term used loosely) car" that is seen on just about any block in America at any given time. The person that this asshole is describing sounds more like a fake-ass player more than a "ricer" but, I guess this shitbrain is the officionado, right??
Your idea of aiming a handgun is raising your arm over your head, pointing the gun away from you, and then just letting your wrist fall to the side to where the gun is almost sideways
What in THE HELL does this have to do with "ricer" or racing, or ANYTHING for that matter?!?!?
Come to think of it, there were a number of these MORONIC generalizations that had NOTHING to do with racing at all...try to stick to the subject A.D.D boy.


And last but, BY NO MEANS least :
If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it
This one was the stupidest because, how do you think the import street race thing got started, numnutz?? Some kid that didn't have SHIT for money to get a car, but wanted to run with the cruisers and his mom said, "Well, Gee, Hon, why don't you take the Camry" and the kid thought "Well, what can I do to get SOME power out of it" and BOOM, so it began.

I know those that knew me expected this out of me, and I was GOING to surprise you and not say anything, but there were just too damn many discrepancies in that list. It's, sadly, retarded, ESPECIALLY coming from this nerd that CLAIMS to be a "ricer". What's THAT about??
Again, SOME of that list is right on the knob, some of it is applicable to "ricers" and "dumbestics" alike, and some of it is just plain retarded and, by no means, relates to EITHER aspect.
So, take it as you will.

[2quick4u]

LOL. Yeah i knew i would get some good stuff out of you.

[jasonslyric00]

But I had points, did I not?
I mean, for real.

[5point_Slow]

i did notice i do a few of theos things
-You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot.
Dont wanna bottom out my headers and my car isnt lowered..yet...

-You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
except for the whole breaking into the 16's thing

You install clear corner lights.
OTW cause amber colored is nasty

you take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your car.. small, tight and hard to get into."
hahaha i just like that one.

[I8ayellowcrayon]

LMAO....and then there is the guy who posted it....

at least i dont drive a kia...

I had to look at it when I saw the link :). Have you seen his car?

[asylum24]

:( kia sephia uses the BP 1.8L engine.... same engine found in the protege... is that a bad thing? especialy since im swaping to the 1.8?

[asylum24]

-You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE!
shit.

-You own a V-TEC Hyundai or Mazda
Mazda 3 has a vtec..... not the same as the honda but yes it does have it.

If you paint your drum brakes to simulate Hi-po calipers
Looks better than rust.... and lets see him find rear discs for my car.

[95TSiEVO6GSR]

all companies have their own forms of vtec now... :..:

[John02Hawk]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Polytheneguy]

Wow. A kia. Sounds like this list is mainly for all the gangster wannabes that cruise in the heavy weights like say...caprices. I don't know about you guys, but I've seen more ricer gun battles than I can count......yeah. The sad thing is, that Kia.....it's probably his mom's.

Jared

[Mr. Merk]

Originally posted by Polytheneguy@Apr 7 2004, 10:00 PM
Wow. A kia. Sounds like this list is mainly for all the gangster wannabes that cruise in the heavy weights like say...caprices. I don't know about you guys, but I've seen more ricer gun battles than I can count......yeah. The sad thing is, that Kia.....it's probably his mom's.

Jared
:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Triepsyn]

Originally posted by Polytheneguy@Apr 8 2004, 03:00 AM
Wow. A kia. Sounds like this list is mainly for all the gangster wannabes that cruise in the heavy weights like say...caprices. I don't know about you guys, but I've seen more ricer gun battles than I can count......yeah. The sad thing is, that Kia.....it's probably his mom's.

Jared

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[95TSiEVO6GSR]

i wouldnt doubt it..... ^_^